Sunday, February 6, 2011

Roses Across America Coming to Ohio

The S. N. Warner Family Association will be hosting the first annual Roses Across America next Saturday, February 12, 2011 at the The Ohio Fallen Heroes Memorial at Sunbury, OH. The event will take place at 11AM. The placing of a single red rose with a red, white and blue ribbon for Valentine's Day at our fallen heroes graves or memorials is a tradition started at Arlington National Cemetery six years ago. With a donation from an anonymous donor the Warner family is bringing this tradition to Ohio. Along with the Warner's, many families are now bringing this annual event to their respective states. The Warner's state that although their loved ones are no longer with us, the love still continues on. This is their way of reaching out to the families in Ohio to remember all who gave all for freedom and their families On Valentine's Day.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Honoring a Hero...Remembering a Son, 1/2/87 - 11/22/06

Thanksgiving has always been a special time for our family. Melissa would start out early the night before preparing for our Thanksgiving feast for the next day. The boys were especially fond of Thanksgiving. Melissa would have special rolls for the boys, Ashton, Chandler and Heath as they watched the Macy’s Day parade. Our family had our own traditions just like any other family in America. We were a close, happy family of five and we looked forward to spending time with each other and our other relatives. It was going to be hard to not to have Heath with us this Thanksgiving or Christmas, but we were still looking forward to this special time of year. We had packaged his Christmas gifts and sent them to him in early November so he would have them in time for Christmas. We knew he would celebrate Thanksgiving with his Marine unit as we were with our family here at home.
It was Wednesday, November 22, 2006 and Melissa and I had dropped the boys off to school and Melissa and I looked forward to our day together as we began shopping for our Thanksgiving dinner on the next day. We stopped for breakfast at Bob Evans and were off shopping. We were having a great time together and our conversation would drift to thoughts of Heath. I was really hoping to receive a letter from him to share with our family and friends at our Thanksgiving table. You could not help but wonder how he was holding up. We were on our drive back home and it was a beautiful late fall day the temperatures were in the 60’s and it was sunny. Little did we know that as we were driving to our home, another vehicle was also traveling to our home and had been waiting for us.
We arrived home around noon and the first thing Melissa did was check the mail box. “No letter Scott”, I was bummed. I really wanted to hear from Heath. I was in the house for but a moment and Melissa was outside bringing in groceries when I heard her scream. I almost panicked as I knew something was terribly wrong. I thought some one was attacking her outside of our house and I began to run down the stairs. As I reached the bottom of the stairs Melissa was crying and saying the Marines were here. I could not make sense of what was happening as three Marines were standing in our front room. My head was spinning as I tried to make sense of the situation. One of the Marines, calmly asked me to sit down but I could not. I knew instantly and directly asked them is Heath dead. They said yes. The scream was these Marines approaching Melissa. For a split second she thought Heath was surprising us and was coming home for Thanksgiving, but Heath wasn’t with them and they said, please tell us you are not the mother of Pvt. Heath Warner. It was at that point that she screamed and collapsed dropping the groceries she had in hand. It was not just a scream, it was a scream that only comes from a heart being ripped apart….a scream deep within soul that would never stop.
In a flash our world as we had known it, stopped and our family was forever changed. I remember in my heart just crying out to God , No.
You cannot take our son. I had said to God over the years, I can handle anything but please do not take any of my children. But that fear had become my reality. A level of numbness and at the same time of heart wrenching pain that I could never imagine set in. Melissa and I were sitting in our front room crying, trying to make sense out of this, but all we could do was look at each other and say what do we do now. This new reality was hard. Our casualty support officers had paperwork we needed to complete and we were left to tell our other sons Ashton,7, and Chandler, 14, that their brother had been killed in the war. How do you do that? How do you break your child’s heart, knowing they will enter a level of pain that grief can only bring. A pain we have no control over that each of us would have to bear. But we had no choice, we had to do this. We decided we would let the boys finish the day out and we would tell them when they came home from school.
We went to pick up Ashton at Worley Elementary. He was in first grade and his teacher Mrs. Clevenger was a good friend of ours. As we entered the school, we notified the principal of our loss and we went to get Ashton. Their look of shock was the beginning of a community meeting the reality of war in a personal way. I had Ashton and Melissa told Mrs. Clevenger. I am sure Ashton sensed something was wrong, but we could not say it. We drove home as if nothing had happened and asked him how his day was. But as we pulled in the driveway and sat there for few minutes, we had to tell him as the Marines were in the house and family had begun to arrive. Melissa took over, and said “honey we need to talk to you about something before we go into the house”. You could see that look of dread on his face as Melissa told him, “We have bad news to tell you. Your brother was killed today in Iraq”. His response caught me off guard, as he responded by asking Melissa, “Is my brother an American Hero”, which she said “Yes, honey, your brother is an American Hero”. With that we went into the house and we began to receive guests as family, friends and neighbors came by to visit.
While we were waiting to go get Chandler, we received a phone call from our good friend Lynne Weisel. She said we needed to get to the middle school and pick Chandler up as Heath and Chandler’s friends had begun to receive the news and were texting each other. That was the last way I wanted Chandler to hear this. We arrived at the middle school and were met by the school principal and guidance counselor. Fortunately for us, the elementary school had called over and prepared them for what was happening. They took us over to the nursing station were we waited for Chandler. A few minutes later, Chandler came in and had the strangest look on his face as he was trying to figure out what was going on. Melissa shared the tragic news and he began to pound on the wall. We tried to comfort him the best we could but his heart was broken and long term sadness set in. He decided to stay for his wrestling practice, but I told his coach not to let him wrestle anyone because he would hurt them because he was so angry. Let me share some thoughts from brother Chandler who was an 8th grader.
“I’ll never forget the day my brother died. I woke up and had a normal morning and to tell you the truth my day seemed to be going better than usual. When I was eating breakfast, my mom and I were talking about my brother Heath…wondering what he was doing because he was in the United States Marine Corp and was in Iraq. So I came to school and was having a great day, but little did I know that was going to be my last good day for a very long time. It was the last period of the day and they called me to the office, so I knew something was going on. The school attendance lady told me to follow her to the nurse’s office. I walked in and saw my Mom and Dad standing there. A few seconds later my Mom said, “ Chandler something terrible happened to your brother. He was killed in Iraq today.” To tell you the truth, I cannot even remember what I did. I felt numb. That is all I really remember.”
The impact on Heath’s brother Ashton was also tremendous. He thinks of his brother all the time as we found a picture that Ashton drew. It is a picture of a grave marker and on it says…Heath Warner, my brother my hero was brave and strong.
I hung the American flag and the Marine Corp flag out on the front porch as I had done everyday we had good weather since Heath had left. I was proud of my son, his courage and honor and I told Melissa from that moment on Heath would receive a hero’s honor to the utmost that we could provide for him. November 22, 2006 was the saddest day of our lives.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Ulimate Desecration of Honor and in the end Honor is Restored by the Marines

It is early Sunday morning and I am still at a loss of how to put my arms around the events that took place at the disinterment of our son Heath.

I am going to break my thoughts in two sections, 1. The Ultimate Desecration of Honor and 2, Honor is Restored by the Marines.

The Ultimate Desecration of Honor

All I can say is please the following article by Mark Benjamin from www.salon.com

http://www.salon.com/news/politics/war_room/2010/09/16/disinterment_arlington/index.html

Honor is Restored by the Marines

What ever honor was stolen from our son by the administration of Arlington National Cemetery it was restored by the Marines. Thank you Gunny Sgt. Dixon. What most of you do not know was four years ago, Gunny Sgt. Dixon was in charge of his first Honor Guard burial of Pvt, Heath Warner. He was faithful again to his Marine brother inspite of Arlington's resistance. Your placing the flag on Heath's casket after it was disinterned and placed on the flat bed truck was only the beginning. Your continued presence through the day was a comfort to Melissa and myself.

I will never forget how you stood with Melissa and I after Heath's remains were placed in a new casket, how you comforted Melissa. You placed each new dog tag before me as if it was a precious jewel and buried him again with the dignity and honor. I will treasure that flag like a priceless diamond. Actually, it is more precious than that...it is the blood, sweat and tears of freedom.

You watched the horrific events of the day and I know you will do the right thing with this information.

Semper Fi!

Scott

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Preview of a Segment of our Public Statement to be read at the Women's Memorial Today

The text Bekow is a preview of the public statement I eill be making today after the disinterment.

The Desecration of Honor Stops Today

Almost four years ago, I stood here at Arlington National Cemetery after burying my son, USMC Pvt. Heath Warner. It was our son’s wishes to be buried at Arlington and we considered it the highest honor we could give him - to be buried with his fallen heroes on these most hallowed grounds. I commented at the time, “The honor matched the grief”.

Today, I stand before you again and I state, “The desecration of honor at Arlington National Cemetery matches our anger and grief”. I cannot begin to state the many feelings my wife and I have as we are here to disinter the body of our son for positive identification as a result of Arlington’s negligence.

Today, Melissa and I stand before you and declare that the Desecration of Honor Stops Today - here and now. We want to be part of the solution that no other family should have to go through what our family has gone through.
This can only occur with Congressional support and action in the following areas:

1. Arlington National Cemetery is first and foremost a working cemetery. We are calling for a temporary cessation of all tourist operations at Arlington National Cemetery until the expanded Congressional investigation is concluded and the outstanding issues are resolved. All resources need to be directed to restoring the honor and dignity that has defined Arlington National Cemetery. Once this has occurred tourist operations will begin under new policy and procedures that maintain the integrity and dignity of our fallen heroes buried at the Cemetery.

2. The creation of a panel of family members that will provide an ongoing continuous feedback loop to the Superintendent/Executive Director of what is being done well and what is not satisfactory to the families of the Arlington National Cemetery community.

3. The investigation is expanded to include verification of all paperwork related to those buried at Arlington National Cemetery. I hold before you a form that in the letter we received from Kathryn Condon in which she reassured us had been double checked for accuracy, which is in fact incomplete and full of errors which have resulted in our exhuming our son for positive identification (see exhibit A).

4. We are asking for Congressional action which would allow the families that have to suffer from the pain and agony of living this nightmare as a result of Arlington National Cemetery’s negligence legal remedy against the United States Army and the Cemetery which would also allow for Memorial Markers to remain at their loved ones grave and a return of their bodies to the families choice of reburial. A trust has been broken and violated in which we believe our son would be better taken care of by the family, but still allows us to honor our son’s request to be honored at Arlington National Cemetery.

5. I have presented to Congressman Boccieri from the 16th District in Ohio, a summary report from a meeting of Gold Star parents from his district with recommendations for legislation which would help Gold Star families to deal with the long term consequences of war in order that we can move forward in our healing. I am asking senior Congressional leaders to review this document and allow families to testify before Congress of what life is like for a Gold Star Family in 2010 and the creation of a Gold Star Family Assistance and Protection Act.

Lastly, the Warner Family would like to say to the families across America who have lost loved ones and to those families who have brave men and women is service to the country – on behalf of a grateful Nation we thank you for your sacrifice and service. We honor your family and loved ones.

May God Bless You, May God Bless America and May God Bless and Protect our Service Men and Women.

Scott and Melissa Warner

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

It's late and we just got into DC

It's late but I wanted to drop a quick line about tomorrow.

Does it make sense to anyone why we are the drivers of identifying Heath's body? Let's face it, having to have him disinterned is hard enough. I guess Arlington has not learned that there are other methods of identification such as a third party DNA forensic specialist? So tomorrow one of Heath's Marine friends and myself will be doing the verification. Orginally, we were to be taken to a funeral home where a funeral director would open the casket, now we are doing it onsite at Arlington...because they needed a permit to move Heath. I wonder if the Arlington admonistration would treat their loved ones like they are treating Heath?

Another thing I question - is the grave compromised by digging it out tonight allowing the vault exposed....supposedly, unntouched until we arrive at 8 AM tomorrow morning. Interesting?

A prayer that keeps me focused right now is.....

Christ be with me. Christ before me. Christ behind me. Christ above me. Christ on my right. Christ on my left. Christ where I lie. Christ where I sit. Christ where I arise. Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me. Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me. Christ in every eye that sees me. Christ in every ear that hears me.
Salvation is of the Lord. Salvation is of the Lord. Salvation is of the Christ. May your salvation Oh Lord be ever with us.

Blessings to all.

Scott

From the Diary of a Mad White Man Part II

Yesterday Congressman Boccieri's office coordinated a conference call between Kathryn Condon, her legal counsel, Arlington's Superintendent and myself.

It was an absolutely contentious phone conference. Kathryn did her best to massage her prior conversations with me and would try to make things that she wanted were my suggestions. For the record, I did make statements countering her statements and at one point I told her she was a big fat liar and that what she was saying was not true and to prove it I had recorded the conversation.

In the end, we were finally to finalize the arrangements for the disinterment.

My observation is whatever administrative and leadership skills Kathryn Condon brings to the table for helping Arlington, she lacks the understanding of dealing with a bereaving family. These are not skills she can learn on the fly. My recommendation is they terminate her as fast as they can.

I have a busy day as we are getting ready to head out to Arlington. I will update my blog as this unfolds. God Bless, Scott

Thursday, September 9, 2010

From the Diary of A Mad White Man

Last night, I received a call from the Marine Casualty Officers in DC offering to be there on Wednesday for Heath's disinterment. They said they had just heard of what was taking place and wanted to honor Heath and support us anyway they could. The Marines contacted Arlington this morning and were told by Col Trybular at Arlington that the Marines were to only serve at the request of the Army at Arlington. He proceeded to state they were not requested and were not welcome to be there. I am getting smoking hot. I contacted Congressman Boccieri's office to see if they could help. This is just wrong. Here's Arlington's phone number 703-607-8175. I am counting on all my friends to call and let them have it...From the Diary of A Mad White Man...Scott